Way of Illness

Tiffany's serious and severe illness came unforeseen and without warning. We'd actually planned to begin a new life in another country. But everything came totally different than planned...

We had planned to take our two velvet paws to a cat hotel because we wanted to spare them any avoidable excitement during packing and moving our household. We wanted them to have good times with other fellow cats. Holidays from daddy and mummy!!

Before we did this, we took Tiffany and her little brother to the veterinary to implant a chip, give them a vaccination and have a thorough check-up. They said both were doing good and it could not be better.

One week later we put all their things together, and off we went. I promised both that they would experience lots of adventures and would have a wild time. And after this they would have a beautiful new home. I did not guess how wrong I was and that I could not keep my promises. This still makes me profoundly sad. Every single day!

About ten days after we brought the two to the cat hotel I became restless, even though I was assured by Annie, the owner, that everything was fine. She told me that my two gangsters got used to their new environment when I called her a couple of days before.

But now I felt this well known restlessness and I had this dull feeling in my stomach. Something was wrong! I urged my husband to call the cat hotel. Annie was very worried and said that she was glad that we called her. She told us that 2 days ago she had to take Tiffany to the animal clinic at night. She was cowering on the floor and meowing mournfully. Annie was carefully sensing her belly and noticed that Tiffany was very irritable to the touch.

Tiffany's wailing and meouing became louder and louder and Annie decided to take her to the animals hospital. They took her as an emergency case and made an immediate checkup. Blood and urine analysis, x-raxs and ultrasonic followed. They gave her infusions of pain-relieving and restorative medications and she was fed artificially.

The next two days we were repeatedly calling the animal clinic, then Annie and then the clinic again to be kept informed about the condition of our little sick velvet paw. However, her health condition was worsening from hour to hour. I was very desperate and could not understand what happened. Apparently by the minute a supposedly healthy and airy little cat had changed to be seriously sick.

Until then we still didn't know what exactly was wrong with our little pet. The only thing what we found out was that she was suffering from urgent kidney problems, and that she would need medications and special food for the rest of her life.

One of her kidneys was more than three times as big as normal, and her kidney values were five times higher than normal. And there was something wrong with her liver. The next thing we heard was, that she was given medication against anaemia, because the level of her white blood cells was going up dramatically.

The next day we have been asked to come to the animal hospital for a meeting.

At this time I was seized with panic and had bad foreshadowings. But she was still alive! And while there is life, there is hope. And I clung to this little piece of hope. And I was hoping that she would make it because she was a fighter.

It's Time to Say Goodbye...

After we arrived at the animal clinic we had to wait a little while. And then we've been called to the doctor's office. We were aghast at the sight of Tiffany. It nearly broke my heart. I will never forget how sick and how helpless she was. And I will never forget the way she looked at me.

She was laying on the examination table and I instantly realized how hard she was fighting for her life. In her right hind paw she had the tube of the infusion which was containing all her medicine. She was very groggy and I saw how hard she had to fight for each breath she could take.

And now the doctor explained the situationn to me:

Tiffany had a chronic kidney disease!

The doctor did an ultrasonic check. The result could be seen on a computer monitor. One of her kidneys was significantly enlarged. And there were 5 tumors of different size on her liver. Her abdomen was filled with fluid!

Her kidney values were still increasing. And the numbers of her liver were disastrous, too. Furthermore, the number of the white blood cells was extremely high and it continued to climb.

And in addition to this there was a herpes virus which had infected the upper respiratory tract. This infection took a very serious course and she had to struggle for every single breathe…

I was standing at the examination table and watched my little velvet nose struggling for her life. She was fighting so incredibly brave to stay alive and to stay with us and her brother Dusty. But there was no more hope. Her disease was too bad and her little body was too weak.

I saw the pleading in her beautiful blue eyes. It seemed to tell me: "Please help me!!"

And then I made the hardest decision, which you have to make when you have a beloved animal belonging to you. I gave my approval to put her to the redeeming sleep. I was crying.

Before this happened, I was speaking for a little while to my dearly loved little velvet nose. She moved her ears a little bit. I knew that she recognized me and that she was listening to me attentively.

I was caressing her carefully and told her through my tears that she now will take a little nap. And when she would open her eyes again, all her pain would be gone and she would feel completely healthy again.

And there would be a beautiful bridge appearing in the brightest colours. She would walk across this bridge and on the other side she would already be expected. She'll have to eat and to drink all day long. And they had warm and sunny weather. And all velvet noses were playing happily and lighthearted.

And there would be another cat, named Einstein, already waiting for her to guide her to the land behind the rainbow.

I was telling all this to my little cat baby. Now the time had come. I was nodding to the doctor and she gave her the relieving injection. I stroked her little head and continued to speak to her calmly until her eyes came to rest and she was sleeping forever. She finally found peace and tranquillity.

One day, I'm certain about that, we shall meet again, and nothing will separate us again...

Have a good journey, little Tiffany…. and arrive safely in the land behind the rainbowbridge.

August 2009


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